Abbeville Daiquiri Round-Up

Skip-N-Ria's, a daiquiri drive-through located in Erath, La.

My wife and I visited relatives in Abbeville, La., this weekend and, as always, I had my mind blown by a handful of daiquiris during the visit. In order of preference, they were:

1) "Red Hot"/Cinnamon Schnapp's from Cajun Blenders in Abbeville, La.
2) "Push-Ups" (190 Octane and Pina Colada mix) from Skip-N-Ria's in Erath, La.
3) Banana from Skip-N-Ria's in Erath, La.

The simple fact of the matter is that the stretch of highway that includes Gueydan, Kaplan, Abbeville and Erath is home to some of the best daiquiri shops in all of Louisiana. In this region, it's actually legal to sell mixed cocktails through a drive-through window, as well, so you can pick up a Crown Royal and soda at a drive-through. It's incredible.

I drank a handful of small daiquiris during our trip. The stand-out daiquiri of the trip was the "Red Hots" from Cajun Blenders, a little drive-through bar that I've heaped praise upon in previous blog posts. But this cinnamon-flavored daiquiri really is unusual - I've never seen it on any other menu, anywhere. It tastes exactly like the "Red Hot" candies that you ate by the handful as a child.

I also loved the banana daiquiri from Skip-N-Ria's (pictured). While it did taste faintly of bananas, it tasted more like rum-spiked homemade ice cream. I detected Eagle Brand pet milk in the mix somewhere. Just like the Red Hots daiquiri, the banana from Skip-N-Ria's is a rich, intense taste that (for me at least) had a nostalgic effect.

I love the daiquiri shops in this area and intend to review a few more soon.

The menu from Cajun Blenders in Abbeville, La. Note the Fallout 3 logo in the bottom-right.

Where Disappointment is Always 2-for-1

Frostie Express in Shreveport, which claims to be "Still the
Best in This World." No mention of other worlds.

Last night, I decided to finally take the leap and try Frostie Express (3135 North Market St.), a bizarre-looking daiquiri shop on North Market Street. I say "bizarre-looking" because it's a pretty huge place that specializes in daiquiris, yet there's no drive-thru window (there's a walk-up window). The color scheme of the building is bright pink and blue. Inside, an L-shaped bar wraps around a bay of about 12 daiquiri machines. There are pool tables and three really old-fashioned video poker machines.

It may also be the case that I am incapable of divorcing the place itself from its completely insane website. Especially noteworthy is the "Girls of Frostie" page, which surely has led many a Shreveport bachelor to run, not walk, to the establishment to see the "girls" in person.

As for drinks, we get the usual suspects: Strawberry, Pina Colada, Vodka Freeze, Fuzzy Navel, White Russian. In addition, there are some surprises: The Horny Bull (a frozen Tequila Sunrise), Peach Margarita, Strawberries and Cream. I decided to not just dip my toes in the water here; I decided to take a butt-naked, flying cliff jump into the essence of the place. I opted for a large Horny Bull.

I should point out that a large drink here is 32 ozs., but "Large" isn't the largest size. There's an intimidating 44 oz. size called "The Iceberg" (see right). Now, I'm arguably the world's biggest advocate of huge, highly alcoholic frozen drinks. But I'll tell you: There's some room for debate about the ethics of selling a 44 oz. daiquiri. The phrase "vehicular homicide" comes to mind. But, I digress.

The Horny Bull tasted like bathroom cleaning chemicals. It tasted the way Joe's Bar and Grill on King's Highway used to smell. For those of you old enough to remember Joe's. The Horny Bull tastes like anonymous, cheap corn liquor and broken dreams.

To tell the truth, I saw this coming the minute I stepped foot in Frostie Express. Something told me "go basic." If I go back, I'll try something harder to screw up, a margarita or the strawberry daiquiri. But, to be honest, I'm not sure that I will be going back. When a place's product is as middle-of-the-road as this, it needs one special thing to justify its existence. This one thing can be a bartender with a great smile, a good house sound system tuned to a good Pandora station, a rad jukebox, etc. I couldn't really find that one thing here. I know for a fact that it isn't the Horny Bull.

New Best Daiquiri in Shreveport?

The Orange Creamsicle at Chicky's Boom Boom Room.

I'm naturally predisposed to be mistrustful of daiquiris served in fancy stemware. Something about it smacks of desperation and seems to undermine the casual nature of daiquiris, which, to me, long to be consumed out of anonymous styrofoam cups on hot days in all manner of places where the consumption of alcohol is formally prohibited.

So, it takes a special daiquiri to drive me to carry around a big, precious piece of gaudy stemware. It takes a profound, life-alteringly good daiquiri to make me consider such an unfortunately-appointed drink my new favorite drink in town. The Orange Creamsicle daiquiri at Chicky's Boom Boom Room (205 Texas St., downtown Shreveport) is such a daiquiri.

I am guessing it contains orange liqueur, vanilla vodka, orange juice, and who knows what else. As served normally, it's already tasty - a near-perfect replica of the taste of the cream-filled orange popsicles that I loved as a kid. But ask the bartender to add a shot of real cream (which he'll happily do) and this drink goes from better-than-average to something really, really special. Once I'd added the cream, the taste of the drink went from being refreshing to nostalgic; it simply tasted exactly like the orange creamsicle popsicles I consumed by the boxful when I was young.

A word of advice: If you're looking for a great excuse to try this daiquiri, try to make it to Chicky's on a Thursday night. They have a 20+ piece orchestra - Bill Causey's Constellation Orchestra - who play swing and big band tunes, only on Thursdays. An older clientele shows up to dance, and the douchey, Affliction shirt-enshrouded masses tend to be put off by the classy spectacle that is dozens of elderly couples cutting a rug to an orchestra. It's a fun night out. The orchestra plays 7-10 every Thursday night, which is also ladies' night, so the gals get in free.

"Swamp Water" from Cajun Blenders in Abbeville

Cajun Blenders in Abbeville, LA.

I recently had the opportunity to drink some daiquiris in the parish seat of Vermilion Parish, Abbeville. There are a handful of great little places to get daiquiris (most of which are drive-thru) in this beautiful, old city, and I sampled several drinks from a few different spots. My favorite, by far, was Cajun Blenders, a daiquiri shop housed in a small mobile building on Highway 14, a four-lane highway that runs the length of the city.

I try to avoid hyperbole whenever possible. People are always saying "That's my favorite song" or "greatest ever," etc. I get cranky about that kind of language. Maybe I'm just getting old and crotchety, but I genuinely appreciate sincerity these days. So please know that I am being completely sincere when I say that the "Swamp Water" from Cajun Blenders may be my favorite daiquiri ever. It tastes of lime, Chartreuse, and pineapple juice, and it'll put hair on your chest. Best of all, it's unique, just like the city itself.

There's something about daiquiris from shops in the area of Gueydan, Kaplan, and Abbeville - the texture's different. They're thinner, slushier than most North Louisiana daiquiris I've had, and may have actual ice in them. You don't get the sense that they've been whirling in a machine for days, being kept from freezing. They're also absurdly strong. If you're accustomed to drinking daiquiris from elsewhere in the world, I'd say go a size smaller than your regular order when you're drinking in Cajun Country.

The Orange Crusher

I also had the "Orange Crusher," which was basically Orange Crush and Everclear, and was, frankly, too strong to drink. Cajun Blenders has an absurdly large menu of 100+ flavors, so there's lots to experiment with here.

Honestly, this just kind of feels like the type of place that won't be around in 10 years. There'll probably be a T.G.I. Friday's standing on this land some day. If you love daiquiris, you must visit Cajun Blenders.

Meth Zombies Make Crappy Daiquiris

"Let's just steal a bunch of straws from Denny's."

I should have known that there would be a problem when I realized that the new owners of the former Corner Daiquiri (at the intersection of Stoner Avenue and Centenary Boulevard), which was known for a rare orange daiquiri simply called "Orange Drank," had re-named the business by nailing a sign to the front of it, changing the name from "Corner Daiquiri" to "Corner Daiquiri Factorie." That's what dad would've called "half-assed" (he also would have mistrusted the bastardized spelling as possibly being French in nature), and it should have been a big, red flag waving in my face.

But I'd just had tacos from La Michoacana, and I was in that happy, charitable, post-taco headspace, so I thought "What the hell, how bad could it be?"

Let me tell you how bad it could be.

To get inside of this building, I had to fight my way through the meth zombies scattered about the parking lot. I felt like I was playing Fallout 3, I kept fighting the urge to search their corpses for bottle caps. Once inside, I was confronted with a pretty sad reality: about four daiquiri machines, mix jugs just sitting out on the counter, and a beer cooler filled with Boone's Farm and Thunderbird. Nevertheless, it was two-for-one Happy Hour, so I got a Hulksicle and a Mango. I mean, you don't see a lot of Mango.

These drinks. Were awful. The flavors were that odd, generic daiquiri taste that just tastes like frozen, sweet, anonymous fruit mix, the drinks were weak, and...wait for it...the straws. The straws were stolen from a Denny's. The drinks also weren't anywhere near frozen, they were kind of melted and syrupy and thick.

If you're looking for a ghetto daiquiri that will reaffirm your faith in humanity, just go to Hollywood Daiquiri out by the Airport, as previously reported here. Get yourself a Goose n' Juice or an Ecstasy, a $3 strawberry shot, or even some adult films. But avoid Corner Daiquiri "Factorie." If they actually did make daiquiris at Denny's, this is exactly what they'd taste like.

Sorry for all of the bitching lately, hopefully we'll get a lucky draw at some rad drive-thru in the near future.

The 'Cajun Curse' and Cajun on Youree

Who's the bottom in this relationship?

If you drink daiquiris (I do, obvs) and live in Shreveport (71105), odds are you're already familiar with the abomination to the right: an enormous crawfish and a bi-pedal alligator sharing a daiquiri of unholy size and color, presumably somewhere in a radiation-shocked, post-apocalyptic swampland. This lovely work of art greets those weary souls who drive through the Cajun Daiquiris on Youree Drive, home of the dreaded "Cajun Curse."

The "Cajun Curse" is, in my personal opinion, the strongest daiquiri in north Louisiana. The flavor is somewhat reminiscent of a margarita, but kicked up with a lemonade tartness. Truth is, drink a large (44 oz.) and you will not be able to remember what the damned thing tasted like. This drink could be used by battlefield surgeons in lieu of morphine. Do not step to the "Cajun Curse" unless you are ready to go off the rails, entirely. I asked my friend Kathy, who also cottons to the frozen daiquiris of Shreveport, about this drink. "That stuff made my husband howl at the moon one night," she said.
I hate to give anyone the impression that I consume Jell-O shots, but Cajun also serves about 60 flavors of Jell-O shot, including one called "Dragon's Fire" that is, essentially, Scotch Jell-O. It is the only Jell-O shot that one can feel manly for having drank (ate? slurped?). It put hair on my chest.

I'm not gonna lie: There's some disappointing stuff about this particular location of Cajun Daiquiris. Specifically, one of their specialty Mardi Gras drinks (only available the weeks of Shreveport-Bossier City's Mardi Gras parades) is terrible, and they suspend happy hour specials during Mardi Gras parades. This is Louisiana, guys - we really shouldn't be suspending happy hour on parade days. It should be happy hour all day long on parade days. They make two Mardi Gras specialty drinks, the "Throw Me Something, Mister" and the "Taste of Mardi Gras." The "Taste of Mardi Gras" is pretty tasty, a mix of the Vodka Freeze and the "Cajun Curse." However, the "Throw Me Something, Mister" didn't make me want to throw beads. It made me want to throw up. Faintly chocolatey, faintly grapey, faintly trash juicey...a bad scene, altogether.

But, at the end of the day, Cajun on Youree can be counted on to deliver potent, skull-numbing concoctions that are a good value for the price.

Hollywood Daiquiri is Crazy as Hell

Hollywood Daiquiris (4144 Hollywood Avenue), located in west Shreveport near Shreveport Regional Airport, is one of the more gonzo daiquiri buying and drinking experiences I've had in North Louisiana - or anywhere, really. It's a small shop that only offers about a dozen flavors. There is no entrance to the shop - there's not a public entrance. Customers may either drive through or walk up to a window. Drivers and walkers have separate windows, which makes for an experience that feels more like buying a snow cone than an alcoholic beverage. 

But once you get to the window, you realize this ain't no snow cone stand; it's a booze and porno stand. Right there in the walk-up window, you're confronted with a large selection of African American porno DVDs and bootleg hip-hop CDs. This unexpected element is made even stranger by the fact that two middle-aged women run the shop, and they're both incredibly nice, friendly, and customer-oriented.

Hollywood Daiquiri offers 2-for-1 drink specials all day long, so the drink prices are kind of misleading. The medium size, weighing in at 20 oz., is $8. But you're really getting two drinks, so medium drinks are $4 each in practice. You can mix-and-match flavors, so you can walk away with two different 20 oz. daiquiris for $8.


And, oh my goodness, let's talk about the flavors. What I LOVE about this shop is the way it flips some of your expectations and surprises you, while conforming to other stereotypes and expectations. Just from looking at the photo above, would you expect to be able to get a pomegranate daiquiri, mad using real POM Wonderful pomegranate juice, at this store? They make one. It's called "X-Tacy," and is the only pomegranate daiquiri that I am aware of in Shreveport-Bossier City.

Hollywood Daiquiri offers a few other unique choices. The "Goose & Juice" daiquiri is cranberry juice and Grey Goose vodka, and is as good as it sounds. This was an idea whose time has come! The "Call a Cab" is a watermelon daiquiri, and is the store's most popular drink. Trying not to look directly towards any of the porno behind them, I asked the nice ladies working the walk-up window why it was so popular, and the younger woman mentioned that she thinks the "Call a Cab" is the most popular frozen drink in town among older African Americans. One drink on their menu that surprised me is the "White Cherry" - I haven't come across more than one or two white cherry daiquiris in town.

The consistency of these drinks is worth mentioning. They're more like slushees than frozen daiquiris, a trait that reminds me more of South Louisiana daiquiris than Shreveport daiquiris. They're thin, sweet, and go down easy. 

So far, I've had the "X-Tacy," "Goose & Juice," and "White Cherry." My only criticism is that these drinks aren't all that strong. If you're accustomed to more potent drinks, you may be disappointed in these daiquiris. But if taste is what you're after, the "X-Tacy" is, in my opinion, an honest contender for the best daiquiri in town. I honestly did not expect to encounter a drink like the "X-Tacy" at this modest shop.

This Saturday, I'm heading to Alexandria, so I'm hoping to grab a non-Shreveport daiquiri somewhere along the way!

By the way, thanks for reading and telling your friends about Drink More Swamp Water - I've gotten tons of great feedback about the blog. I promise to have a video posted soon, as several readers have asked if that was in the works. Mardi Gras is on the way, so anything is possible!

Mama Said Knock You Out: Daiquiri Express' T.K.O.

This photo from the Daiquiri Express facebook fan page must be from their second location, but looks similar to the main location.  Kinda surreal.

It was bound to happen sooner or later: My first post about Daiquiri Express, the daiquiri shop that I love to hate.  Why hate?  You know, that's a difficult question to answer tactfully.  So I won't even try.  The average bartender at Daiquiri Express, at least in my experience, is a tweaked-out Juggalo who looks like he could possibly have driven to work in a rolling methlab.  Usually, when I walk in, he is engaged in some form of shady business with a shady character at the far end of the bar who doesn't have a drink.  Now there is a manager - I've encountered him a couple of times - but he doesn't clean up so well, either.  In fact, the manager genuinely reminds me of Paul Naschy's original Spanish version of The Wolfman.  Add to that the fact that the menu board reads like the tracklisting from a Young Jeezy album ("Liquid Cocaine," anyone?), and this place is so Shreveportastic.  Not that this is a bad thing - I just personally get annoyed when folks say they're afraid to go to the Cajun Daiquiri on E. 70th Street, but they'll gladly go to Daiquiri Express.  Daiquiri Express is the scarier of the two, if you're paying attention.

But if you love daiquiris, you have to love Daiquiri Express.  My personal favorite of their 58-item menu is the "T.K.O.," a combination of the aforementioned Liquid Cocaine and Monkey Shine.  Liquid Cocaine is basically a less-fruity Pina Colada and the Monkey Shine involves banana, chocolate, and milk, but somehow when you blend the two, you end up with what essentially tastes like an alcoholic "Coke Float."  On the off chance that any of my four readers are from Springhill, Louisiana - this essentially tastes like a "Frosty Coke" from Master Chef in Springhill.  This is one delicious and stout daiquiri.  Daiquiris with milk are kind of a house specialty here - they make an amazing White Russian, and a cool variation on the White Russian called the Colorado Bulldog (a White Russian with a splash of Coke, which is so much better than it sounds). 

Daiquiri Express is located in the "Round Building" at the Shreve-City shopping center.  Their daily Happy Hour is 4 p.m. to 7 p.m., during which all drinks are Buy One Get One Free. 

Other notable details of Daiquiri Express:
-No drive-thru (sad face)
-They're also pretty proud of their enormous Jell-O shots, which are served in huge plastic syringes.
-Prices range from $4.25 (12 oz.) to $11.25 (44 oz.)...in other news, 44 OZ. DAIQUIRIS?!  South of I-10, serving a 44 oz. daiquiri could get you brought up on manslaughter charges!
-Gift certificates are available!  Gotta love a daiquiri shop with gift certificates! 

'Tis the Season to be Hungover

You know your signature daiquiri is a hit when you have to create a Frequently Asked Questions about it.  For some reason, none of my friends share my enthusiasm for the Tony's Liquor Eggnog Daiquiri (I think it is, essentially, folk art).  When I visited Tony's recently and spoke with the owner, he reached under the counter and whipped out this Eggnog F.A.Q.  And, because the world needs it, here is the high-res version, should you need to print out a copy. 

I'm no math whiz, but if a "batch" of Eggnog contains over a half-gallon of Spiced Rum, and extra shots are available...my God, no wonder these things sell so well to the Line Avenue set.  When you think about it, it's so smart: Line Avenue Self-Medicators + Holiday Stress and Contempt + Socially Acceptable, Insanely Strong Alcoholic Beverage That People Are Entertained By.  That is a recipe for success.

Off-Menu at Cajun Daiquiri on East 70th Street

The "Skittles" Daiquiri, a gateway to another dimension available at the E.70th Street Cajun Daiquiri.  Note the extra pair of "handcuffs," my friend Mark's slang for the tape across a daiquiri lid.

Tonight I had the pleasure of meeting and chatting with Mr. Allen Taylor, manager of the Cajun Daiquiri on East 70th Street in Shreveport, easily the most interesting of the four Cajun Daiquiri locations in Shreveport-Bossier City.  Mr. Taylor's menu is well-known in town for including drinks with such insane and wonderful titles as "Pimp Juice," "Shake Them Haters Off," and "Beat Up the Drawer."  I still have no idea what the "beat up the drawer" means, and I've drank a half dozen or so of those bad boys.  But the real fireworks show isn't on the menu at all.  Mr. Taylor's gonzo daiquiri masterpieces are strictly word-of-mouth, and they are (in my opinion) the following:

"Skittles" - they literally just squirt a drop of each of the 20 or so fruity flavors offered at Cajun into the cup, the resulting chimera being an extremely tart, fruity, sugar coma-inducing atom bomb of day glo booze.  It's fantastic.

"Barack Obama" - Yes.  Cajun Daiquiri has a daiquiri named after the President.  Allen Taylor says this concoction was his idea.  I ask him if the drink is red, white, and blue, to which he responds "No, it's red, brown, and blue."  He lets that sink in for a second before adding "We replaced the white with the brown."  The drink is apparently a huge seller, especially on days when Obama is in the news.  Who says people are apathetic?

What could be better than a 44-ounce Barack Obama after a hard day at the office?  Well, Cajun Daiquiri on E. 70th has 24/7 2-for-1 specials (it's a constant happy hour essentially), so they needed to create a nice companion drink to the Barack Obama.  You guessed it...they have a daiquiri named the Michelle Obama.  It's a mixture of Wild Screw, Sex on the Beach, and Fuzzy Navel - I think maybe Mr. Taylor finds the First Lady attractive.  And since you can mix-and-match daiquiris using the 2-for-1 special, you can literally just pull up to the drive-thru window and ask for "The Obamas."  Only in Shreveport!

I personally ordered myself a Skittles today, but I will be drinking The Obamas soon.  See, that just sounds creepy.

May I Take Your Order?

This post is just an introduction to the Drink More Swamp Water blog.  My name is Chris Jay, and I'm a native resident of Louisiana with an uncommon love for the awe-inspiring variety of daiquiris available in cities like Shreveport-Bossier City, Lafayette, Baton Rouge, New Orleans, Ruston, and all of the small towns with terrific "daiquiri shacks" scattered throughout our great state.  I named the blog after what I believe to be the greatest regional daiquiri of Louisiana, "Swamp Water."  In particular, I was moved to start this blog after enjoying several slightly different - but all profoundly delicious and potent - Swamp Water daiquiris from drive-through shacks in the Abbeville, Gueydan, and Kaplan, Louisiana areas. 

My goal is to make at least one post per week reviewing my favorite regional daiquiris of Louisiana.

Just a quick word of disclaimer: I live in Shreveport-Bossier City, so many of my reviews will be of North Louisiana daiquiris, just due to convenience.  But I've got family and friends all over the State, including in the area that I regard to be the Valhalla of daiquiris - the Lafayette/Abbeville/New Iberia area.

Got suggestions or comments?  Let me know in the comments section - I plan to open an e-mail account for this blog ASAP.  Thanks for reading!